Friday, September 11, 2009

Lightening Bolts of Clarity

Recently, I was lying on my bed, listening to some calming music. I had had a rough day and was exhausted. My mind was feeling the same kind of strain as my body, and thoughts about a past issue in my life kept rearing their ugly heads at me, hoping that I would take note of them. For most of the day, I was able to push them back and think about other things. It was an issue I had not thought about for a long time, and it wasn't even a real issue in my life now...not in the same way as before anyways.


Lying there, the thoughts resurfaced, and I was too tired to fight them off. One by one, each thought paraded across my mind, leaving muddy prints behind. Pretty soon, my mind was clouded with those footprints, and I couldn't see clearly anymore.


All of a sudden, BAM! lightening streaked across my mind, not only illuminating and blinding out where the muddy footprints had been left, but striking down on a realization. In that one second, my perspective on the situation completely changed. I saw myself as others had seen me then, and I understood what my friends had been warning me about. It was as if I had been removed completely from the picture and could see what was happening. Roger M. always said in my Bible class, "Sometimes you can't see the full picture because you are inside the frame."



Have you ever had a moment of clarity, the one where a lightening bolt strikes you, especially compared to a light bulb going off over your head? You wonder why you didn't see it before, whatever "it" may be. Sometimes, there is no warning. You are lying in your bed or reading a book, and BAM! lightening streaks across your mind, revealing the missing link, one that you might not have known was even missing. And for just a moment, life seems slightly less muddled.

I feel sad for those who have never experienced that. It's true that it is sometimes painful and doesn't always bring a warm feeling with it. However, I would never want to give up those moments, both the good and the bad. Without them, I think that I wouldn't see the bigger picture or in that one instance, see where something is more harmful than helpful.

I have no idea if this makes sense or if I just rambled for five paragraphs. Either way, those are my thoughts. :)

1 comment:

Serenity said...

It makes sense. And oh my gosh do I love those moments. They're such a breakthrough - on one side you're about to go insane, and on the other, you can breathe again. Love it.