Monday, December 8, 2014

I've My Own Sword, Thank You

"There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Winnie The Pooh

Before the Austenian type heroes captured my attention and the leading men of Golden Hollywood made me swoon with their declarations of undying devotion and love through song, I sat in my living room or the theater, buying what Disney was selling 100%. 

1. Good will always triumph over evil in the end.

2. Every girl has a prince/champion who will fight the world and go to the ends of the earth to be with her.
3. Singing is essential to life.

Those 90 minutes had me fixed to the television, oblivious to all else around me. I forgot that Robin Hood was actually a fox. He had an accent that even my six year old self swooned over. I felt chills when Maleficent was in dragon form trying to kill Prince Phillip, and exclaimed, "Now you shall deal with me, O prince! And all the powers in hell!" When Beast died for that brief moment, my tears welled up and spilled over, just like Belle's. It was our tears together that made him return to human form. You can imagine that I cried when Mufasa was trampled. I was in the grotto when Ariel tells King Triton, "Daddy, I love him!" I loved him too. 

We all want the story where evil is vanquished by good. The princess gets her man. I loved that there were songs/scores for every single moment. What I've learned, however, is that while good really does win out over evil eventually and singing does make life better, sometimes the girl doesn't have a champion fighting the world off for her. She has to pick up the sword, wield her own shield and fight her own battles. You can easily feel down about this- and by that I mean I can feel down and get frustrated that I'm out here in the world fighting my own battles. I've realized something though, and it has helped a great deal.

Perspective. These girls who are mooning over their soulmates and ending up with them are SIXTEEN years old. EIGHTEEN years old. Maybe one or two have made it into their twenties. In my teens, I was not pining away for my one true love. I was trying to not be awkward and failing miserably. If you want to compare me to a Disney heroine- try Mia from Princess Diaries. Seriously. Before the makeover. That's how I felt. (Disclaimer: I am not saying you can't meet the love of your life in your teens. My best friend and my sister both did that.) More perspective. These fairy tales stories are just that. Fairy tales. And from another era completely. Girls were married by 16 if not sooner. 

I spent years wondering when I could start my life. I wanted to know when my champion fighter of a prince would waltz into my life, sweep me off my feet, and take over for awhile. That's when I realized that my life had started. Maybe not the part that I expected to start, but life was happening all around me and I was missing it. I was too caught up in the whens and what ifs to notice my life was in full swing. Most importantly, I was not seeing that I was okay. I didn't need someone else taking on the world on my behalf. I had developed a trait that I had never thought I wanted or needed. Independence. It was the same independence that had led me to travel across Europe, mostly alone. It had carried me when I took that summer camp job and again when I moved halfway across the country and back. All the opposition, difficulties, and pain that came with these things was not championed by some prince. I stared it all in the face, and I was the one who found the inner strength to overcome.

Do I still love Disney movies? Of course, I do. If I have children, will they be allowed to watch Disney movies? Absolutely. There are lessons that can be learned from Disney. (Besides, the movies are just fun to watch!) I just never want to forget that while it might be nice to have someone face the world for me and take on a few dragons, I am not incapable of facing my own battles or finding the inner strength to fight.
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do” – Eleanor Roosevelt

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