The Mr. Darcys and Captain Wentworths of the World

In my attempt to blog while I am in Europe, I've decided that I need to "practice" before I leave. I am such a horrible blogger, which is most obvious just by looking at the date on my last post: April 16. If I am to keep a blog going at all in Europe, I have to start now, I've decided.

I may be stepping out on a limb with a blog about the opposite sex, but I am in no way "bashing" men. In fact, this blog is more of an admittance of my own behavior rather than a slandering of the male sex. I've been thinking lately how often I find myself, or one of my friends, swooning over men from an era that is quite different from the era in which we live now. We...and I really do include myself in this...we watch every BBC/Masterpiece Theater adaptation of Jane Austen's or Elizabeth's Gaskell's novels and nearly melt at every touch, every word, every moment the gentleman's eyes connect with his fair maiden. Our stomachs tie up in knots, and we forget to breathe as we are immersed into the scene unfolding before our very eyes.

I have a feeling that some may read this and think, "Good grief! It's just a story...this girl is crazy! Mr. Darcy is just a character. Mr. Knightley doesn't exist. And Mr. Thornton was mean!" While I do admit it does seem slightly silly to become wrapped up in these characters, it is inevitable. Most women, at least those who hug their pillows and hardly dare to blink lest they miss something while watching Pride and Prejudice or North and South, are looking/waiting for their own Mr. Darcy. Even their own Mr. Thornton. It is not just women of our time who have searched for their Austenian gentleman. Women have been falling at the feet of Captain Wentworth and Mr. Darcy for nearly two hundred years. There is something instilled in these characters that is timeless and continues to make a mark on girls of all ages.

I still have not admitted my own folly in this. I watched a film tonight, Lost in Austen, in which a woman from modern London mysteriously changes places with Elizabeth Bennett. While the entire plot of Pride and Prejudice is changed, it all works out for good in the end, with a few bumps and potholes along the way. It was not so much the story itself that caught my attention tonight but the title of the film. Lost in Austen. It echoed in my head when the movie finished and continued to repeat over and over. I realized that I was maybe a little lost in Austen myself.

As I watched these films and read the books, I made a mental list of the qualities that I thought were essential to finding a man. It is not that making a list of qualities is a bad thing. In fact, I think you should know what you want and should not settle for less than that. My mistake, however, was evident once I was absorbed in the world of Austen and other writers like her. I was so set on that mental list of qualities, that I readily excused the weaknesses of the characters I had fallen in love with. Of course, I knew that Mr. Darcy was prejudiced or that Mr. Thornton was a little rough around the edges, yet I told myself that those character flaws were what helped drive the story.

While that may be true, I find that I am not so ready to excuse those same flaws, or new ones, in men today. I bemoan the fact that these men from novels have become non-existent. I rant with my girlfriends about society's lack of single gentlemen. (I am in no way saying that those who have found their own are not really with a gentlemen or their own "Mr. Darcy.") We turn away from men who do not seem to "fit the bill," even at first glance, and barely give them another minute of our time.

 If I take a good, hard look in my heart I find that I am being unfair to men all the world over. Besides the fact that I do not know all of the men in this world, could it be that I focus too much on the flaws and fail to see the strengths, the very qualities I am looking for? Do we all, as females, fail to recognize that the flaws of Mr. Darcy, Captain Wentworth, or any of the other gentlemen we prefer from the novels were what the heroines themselves focused on at first? Elizabeth found Mr. Darcy to be insufferable and full of prejudice. She was not swept off her feet at first meeting. It took working through the flaws in both characters to realize he was Mr. Darcy *swoon*.

I will still get teary-eyed while watching Mr. Thornton see Margaret Hale on the opposite train at the station. I will feel the butterflies in my stomach when Captain Wentworth shows Anne her childhood estate and begins to dance with her in the front yard. I think that even if I never find my own Mr. Thornton or Captain Wentworth (although I hope that I do), I still need to see the qualities in the opposite sex and not be so quick to find the flaw(s). And this is going to take lots of work!

The Silver Platter of Life

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” 

  Andre Gide, French writer

Today started just like any other. I woke up late for class, rushed around to get ready, and opened the front door to leave the comfort of my house. The after effects of rain. Part of me wanted to go back inside and crawl under the covers, ignoring the puddles and slight chill in the air. Still, the "better" student inside of me pushed my feet forward and thus my day began.

Have you ever began a day, like this one? Not different from any other? You're just walking down the street and then Bam! your life is changed forever. (Would a post of mine be complete w/out one reference to Friends?) It could be many things: a new relationship, a baby, a new job. etc. You see it happen to others and never think you could be so lucky yourself. When the world (whatever the world represents to you) is offered on a silver platter, you don't think twice that this is you, a normal average day person, who never has life-changing opportunities. 

Do you walk around it, pushing that silver platter aside for the path you are already walking? It's safe that way; you know the path. You kind of even expect how life might turn out if you stay on it. Or...do you take a chance on life and see where this new adventure takes you, losing sight of the shore and jumping in feet first? 

I am ready to take a running leap of faith and make the biggest splash the world has ever seen! 

 

The Thrills and the Chills of Subbing

Whew. I made it through my first day of subbing. It was quite the experience for someone who grew up in a small church school most of her life and only subbed in the same school. (Note that I do not dislike my upbringing or any previous experience; public school is VASTLY different.)

First off, by request of friends, Matt and Kate, I wore my teacher-y outfit, complete with a sweater. Granted, once I got there I realized I could have worn jeans. Oh well. I looked professional. :) Notice the picture that's right here. Typical first day of school picture, minus the backpack. (This was taken at the end of the day. I was very tired!)

Let's see...the kids were very sweet except when they got on each other's nerves. Then, kindness flew out the window, even towards me. It looked like I was choosing sides many times, when of course, I wasn't. I think I held my own though, and quite well. I had about 25 students, I think. That is a lot for me to take on at once!

As far as turning out like previous substitutes I had, I don't think that happened today. Two boys from another class that I was teaching tried to convince me they could sit beside each other (Kindergarten nap time déjà vu!), which I did not fall for. They kept lobbing these ideas of what their teacher lets them do, and I kept hitting them right out of the park. :) It took a lot of effort, but I succeeded. As far as the storytelling goes, I did not really have a chance to say much besides what we were working on. I did tell them my name was Anastasia, to which they all said it was a beautiful name and they really liked it.

Matt suggested I teach them the "Math is a Wonderful Thing" song. As much as I wanted to, there wasn't a way, as it was test day in math. I did, however, get to talk about Schoolhouse Rock, which I think is awesome. They even knew what I was talking about. (It was a little disappointing to find out they only see them through youtube. ABC's One Saturday Morning, anyone? :D) Still, that was something that my teacher used to teach me, and I've always wanted to do the same.

One thing that kind of bothered me was a social studies book we read. It was made for the classroom, but it had a cuss word right in it. I had to read the book aloud to the students, and I almost said it right there. Personally, I don't like to cuss, but I'm not going to go ballistic on others that do it. To have it in a classroom teaching tool though? Is that normal? I really have no idea.

Overall, today was good. The next time will be great, and the third, tenth, and fiftieth time will be even better. Practice makes perfect, right?

Miss Corder (NOT Miss CorNer...half the class thought I said that!)

the Sub...

I got my first call tonight to substitute teach tomorrow. This is my first time at a public school, and it's the first time I do not know the kids. (Previous subbing has been done at my church's school.) I am excited but nervous. It's the fifth grade classroom. How do fifth graders act these days? Rowdy? Mean? A little mature or not at all? I have NO idea.
When I think about the kind of sub I want to be, I always look back on my own experience with subs. I went to the public elementary school in a small town in Missouri for three years (K-2nd). I only remember two substitutes from that time. In Kindergarten, we told our substitute teacher that we had long center times in the morning and at nap time we could lay wherever we wanted. I put my mat next to my cousin's, even though we were not allowed to be by each other (due to playing around and talking). She believed us, and the next day, our teacher (who was just plain mean) yelled at us. It bothers me that in Kindergarten we knew to lie to the sub. Seriously? I was five years old!
In first grade, we had a substitute teacher, and I still remember his name: Mr. Hoffman. He rushed us through our seatwork, giving us the answers when we were done, and then told Hercules stories the rest of the day. No joke. He loved Hercules. I believe I had him for two days. He was never asked back. Our teacher was amazed that the entire class of 30 students received 100 percents, and we told her that he gave us the answers. She was furious. I think he was probably better off being a professor of mythology or something.

So you see, with only these experiences in mind, how do I know how to be a good sub? One that doesn't let the kids walk all over her and lie, but still has fun and can share the knowledge that has been gleaned over the years? I hope the kids want me back, and even more that the school staff does.

More to come on the subbing topic!

Coping with the sick bug

I hate having colds. Right now I am suffering from the worse kind...stuffy nose, nasty cough, headache, and I put "d's" on the end of my words like Monica did (See Friends Season 6 Episode 13). Usually, I love being sick, as it gives me an excuse to sleep and not do anything. (Twisted thinking, I know.) However, with this semester being so tough, it is actually freaking me out. I've not been able to do any homework that is due this week since I can't do anything for more than a few minutes before I feel wiped out. This has led to more than enough sleeping and entertainment watching.

Whenever I get sick, I pull out my "sick movies." These are the movies that I always watch when the sick bug bites. Some have been on the list for a long time, while others are recently added. I may not get through all of them, but I have them beside me just in case.

1. You've Got Mail - I have been watching this whenever I get sick for the past four years, solely for the scene when Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) is sick and Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) comes and takes care of her. That, and I think their story is one of the last great love stories of Hollywood that is not tainted. ;)

2. Gidget, Gidget Goes Hawaiian, Gidget Goes to Rome - I love the Gidget series; so much, in fact, that I own the TV series as well. Its lightheartedness and nostalgic feeling makes me forget how sick I am. I just want to be on the beach with my own Moondoggie (preferrably with a different name).

3. Some Kind of Wonderful - This is a newer one for me, but I love it. It brings me to tears everytime, sick or not, when Keith (Eric Stoltz) gives Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) the earrings. It then makes me want to watch He's Just Not that Into You for the Gigi/Alex storyline.

 4. Anne of Green Gables and the Sequel - Need I really say much about these two? The greatest love story of all time, and if the movies had just ended with the sequel, then all would be well. Still, the first two are well done, despite the end of the second when Gilbert is ill not following the book. Nevertheless, it makes my sickness look minscule compared to Gilbert's near death experience.

5. Penelope - I almost forgot this one! This is my favorite James McAvoy character by far (well, he did do a good job as Mr. Tumnus), and really, I have no words for this. It is definitely a must-see.






6. If I am up for a longer movie, I opt for Meet Me in St. Louis, Singin' In the Rain or any other classic on my shelf (In the Good Old Summertime - an earlier version of You've Got Mail, Summer Stock, Bringing Up Baby, Roman Holiday, etc.).

This is the main list, and movies are always floating in and out. However, these are ones that I never tire of. :)

I am off to watch Gidget Goes Hawaiian...What do you like to watch? ;)

The Sky is Falling?

It is the third week of December already! Enter Finals Week. A week later than usual, and I have been busy studying. Today, I had two finals. Both were in-class essays. One was in World Literature and the other was in World History. World literature required writing four essays in a two hour period, with each being at least a page and a half. The second final had a broad question that pretty much encompassed everything I had learned.

Yesterday, I studied until my brain literally shut down. I could no longer make connections with concepts or brainstorm ideas for the essays. Rather stressed, I went to bed for a few hours of sleep before getting up to study some more.

I dream a lot about random things that don't make sense. My dreams are usually pretty vivid, and I remember them easily. Last night was no exception. I had a dream that I was with a few people (Mom, sister, a couple of cousins) and we were driving on this country road. I looked out the window and saw Earth. I'm not sure how that worked since we are on Earth, but there it was, and it started rotating around and around, going over the car, under the Earth I was on, and coming back on the other side.

All of a sudden, we were no longer in the car, and the Earth turned out to be a huge inflatable but heavy globe. I came to the conclusion that someone had shot it up into the air from "over that way" and it kept bouncing on its own. Before I knew it, the globe was bouncing on us, and I yelled out that we needed to run away from it. I looked up, and it covered the sun, before coming back down and almost landing on me. I woke up then, a little freaked out.

I thought about this dream on the way to my final this morning, and I realized what brought it about. My two finals, both in world classes (lit and history). Somehow, in the dark recesses of my mind, my finals had crawled into my dreams, causing a severe pounding that left me with lots of fear and insecurity. The world was a symbol of the powerful two essays trying to kill me.

I took those two finals today, and I think I may have conquered them. You don't win today, World.

The Greatest "Pirate" Story Ever Told

It isn't the best picture, but this is the cover of my new children's storybook. It is an idea that has been developing the past year with two of the kids that I baby-sit.
Whenever the kids are ready for bed, we "sail the seven seas" as pirates, a game that stems from my days as a pirate on the Kingdom Kids crew. (Kingdom Kids is my church's children's church program.) As we created new adventures, the kids expressed the desire to write our stories down.
The youngest, who is seven, asked me last night if I would publish this and asked how many copies I thought I would make.  :)
Hopefully, there will be more to the story in the weeks to come. Although it is not an easy topic for me to tackle, it has been mostly effortless up to this point. I love our pirate names (Nameless Hilary, Mischevous Witty, and One-Eyed Pete), and I think our adventures will be grand. I believe that this is to become a series in which a different storyline will be inserted where "pirate" is right now. (The Greatest "Ninja" Story Ever Told...yeah right....The Greatest "Hot Air Balloon" Story Ever Told)

Speaking of the children I baby-sit, I am hoping to write a book someday about my baby-sitting years (specifically this family of seven years). You wouldn't believe what I've been through! It has been such an adventure, to be sure. :P

As always, there are other topics to discuss, but I will save them for another day.

So long my two viewers! ;)