Laughing Brown Eyes

United...to Make Your Trip Stressful, Frustrating, and Complicated

2011-10-19T11:43:00.002-05:00

This reminded me of traveling in Europe in so many ways. This is one of the reasons I don't like to travel alone. I sent this email to United Airlines this morning. Hopefully, I am not brushed off!

Dear United,

While traveling back to Fresno, CA from Omaha, NE, my plane from LAX to FAT was overbooked. The agent asked if anyone would be willing to give up their seats and would be compensated with a $400 voucher, a meal voucher, and a paid night in a hotel near the airport. This was right before boarding, around 7:45pm. I graciously gave up my seat trying to help out since no one else was willing. This was a large mistake on my part. It took the agent from then until 9:15pm to get my vouchers figured out. My checked suitcase had been pulled off the plane and sent down to baggage claim, but by the time I got down there, a ramp worker had taken it back upstairs for some reason. The baggage service worker just kept saying "The ramp guy took your bag to the ramp." I don't know where that was because I did not have any tags directing to my new flight, just the old tag with the flight that had already departed. I waited for fifteen minutes before my bag was sent back down. This caused me to miss a shuttle to my hotel, and I waited for thirty minutes until the next one came. I finally arrived at the Westin LAX around 10:15pm. I was exhausted at this point, as I had been traveling since early morning. I went to check-in, and the desk clerk told me my voucher was not valid. The agent at my gate had given me the wrong copy, and as I've never had a voucher before, I did not know this. Both the meal voucher and hotel voucher were unacceptable. The clerk told me to go BACK to the airport and get the right one. He said the hotel was sold out, but he had a room for me in the United block of rooms. I had to take my rather large suitcase and two carry-ons back to the the airport to talk to a representative. Once I arrived, I had to wait in line at the check-in counter for twenty minutes to speak to someone. When I talked to a representative, she was not helpful at all. She said she could not give me a voucher because the hotel was sold out, and I had to go get my original from my gate. I was given a security checkpass, but that did not matter. Once at security, I was told my suitcase would not fit through the scanner. I knew this because it was the one I always check and had just gotten from baggage claim over an hour before. Finally they let me try, but first the TSA worker made me leave all my liquids behind. That was very upsetting; I had expensive shampoo and conditioner, brand new expensive lotion, face wash, face lotion, and eye makeup remover. No one was willing to help me out at all. The worker said she would be there until 11:15pm but once she was gone, she would not watch my stuff and it would be up for grabs. It was already 11:05pm at this point. I finally made it through security and got upstairs to the gate. I talked to a gate agent, and she said I did not have to do all of that to get my right voucher. That made me furious. I was sent to a gate further down to talk to a supervisor, and I told her my dilemma. The gate agent had originally given me the auditor's copy of the vouchers. I told her about my liquids downstairs but she ignored me and would not help me get them back. They were at the entrance of security, so I could not go back down to get it. I was finally given the right vouchers and sent on my way. I made it back to the hotel at 11:45pm and was almost not even surprised to find out that United had overbooked the hotel as well by sending people there when they had no rooms left. Of course, my room had been given away. I was asked to wait 45 minutes to see if housekeeping had cleaned any of the rooms. It was long after midnight when I finally received a room, and after one before I was finally in bed. I had an early flight and had to get up at 5:15am. I was also unable to even use the meal voucher, as it was for dinner.

I would like to be properly compensated for being so inconvenienced and for not being treated as a valued customer. When I tried to speak with a representative or agent at the airport, I was brushed off and ignored. That is unacceptable, no matter how busy they are. The $400 voucher doesn't begin to cover the frustration, uncertainty, and exhaustion that night caused me.

Sincerely,

Anastasia

Wedding Crashers: A Cultural Experience

2011-10-03T01:10:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true. The highlight of my weekend was crashing a wedding reception with Alejandra and Stephanie. I did not know the bride or the groom. I've only known the person who invited me for a week. Still, we were welcomed most graciously, along with the other guests, with delicious food and party favors.

Alejandra's co-worker and friend, Gabi, asked if we wanted to come with her to her cousin's Hispanic wedding reception Saturday evening. It was in Reedley, in a rural outdoors park-like area. It was a beautiful evening, definitely not too warm. When we arrived, some people were already there and had started eating. We found room at a table, and our food was brought to us, as well as water and our own bottle of Fanta (grapefruit=delicious!) to share. The food was aMAZING! Carnitas, beans, and rice with tortillas, and it was all about the flavor. That was some food I could get used to. Gabi said ten pigs were killed for the dinner. We thanked the pigs for their sacrifice. It was worth it! :)

As we ate our meal, Gabi shared some of the traditions of her culture. About a eight months to a year before the wedding, the betrothed couple ask family members and friends of the families for sponsorships- varying amounts for different wedding expenses. The sponsors then either provide money or sometimes provide whatever they chose to pay for (decorations, favors, cake, etc.). This can make for a very large reception because the sponsors invite people to the wedding. From what I understand, it's kind of like, "I am sponsoring a wedding this weekend. Would you like to go with me, friend from work, uncle, cousin, brother?" But no one minds! It's about celebrating. I like that a lot.

Mmm...ice cream!

After our meal, we sat and talked as more people arrived. Most people, once finished eating, would move to chairs set around the edge the perimeter of the yard so new people could sit and eat. We noticed some children eating Mexican ice cream, and we went to find some as well. A man was selling from the back of his van in three flavors. Fresa (strawberry), Vainilla (vanilla), and Limón (lime). I tried the fresa and it was so good! It had real bits of fruit in it. The Vainilla was good too, with a hint of cinnamon to it. It tasted like chai, which if you know me at all, then you know that is my drink of choice. So the ice cream was a big success. :)

After we had sat at the table for quite awhile, we moved over to watch the dancing. They did not hire a mariachi band, but the music was still very much fiesta-ish and a lot of fun to listen to. We even danced to a couple of songs. Basically, if you can move your feet to the beat, then you will be fine out there. Add a little hip-swaying and you are golden. If the music died down at all during the song, you could hear all of the feet moving against the pavement. It was really a lot of fun! One song in particular stands out in my mind, and I can still hear the repetitious notes being played over and over. It was played while they honored the sponsors of the wedding. Names were called out, one by one, and they would join the newlyweds on the dance floor.

Party favors

Overall, it was a beautiful reception, filled with celebration and love. I had a fantastic time and wouldn't mind being a part of something like that again! The only bummer for me was that we didn't get to try the cake. They cut their pieces to feed each other, but never cut the cake. Pretty soon, the children and I suspect a few adults had tested the frosting, making the cake bare in some places. I don't think I would have wanted the cake then anyways. Finally, I am including a picture of my party favors. One is a magnet of a bride and groom with a ribbon bow attached that reads "Neuestra Boda" or "Our Wedding." The second is just decorative, with a clay-like rose and calla Lilly and clear beads with ribbon. It's lovely!

The Sun is Shining

2011-09-29T22:26:00.003-05:00

Here is my monthly update, as it seems that I can only find the time and energy to write once a month. Hopefully, I can kick it up a notch, but I make no promises!

The infection I had turned out to be a cyst of some sort, and I had to have an inCISION and drainage (those are the only details I am sharing on that) and was prescribed ten more days of antibiotics on top of the original two weeks, equaling 3.5 weeks of antibiotics. Of course, it takes a toll on your body while on antibiotics- at least mine does, and let's just say I've had other complications during those 3.5 weeks. The antibiotic worked though and all that remains is a tiny red scar from the incision.

I've been job searching for nearly four weeks, and while I have applied at several different places, there have not been any call backs. Until today, that is. I was teaching Audrey this morning when my phone rang. It was Barnes and Noble, one of the first places I applied. If you know me at all, you know this is a dream job for me. I absolutely love literature and reading. English major for a reason, and no, it was not because I loved writing papers. The interview is set for next Tuesday. It is a group interview which makes me think they are hiring for seasonal help and need several people.

Not only did I receive that call today, but I was also contacted to set up an interview for a private tutoring position with Sullivan Learning Systems, a tutoring company located here in Fresno. That interview is set for tomorrow morning. If all goes well, I may be able to take on both jobs as they are both part time positions.

Flowers picked for me by Aidan and Olivia. There are more in the box!

Life is good here in California, even though I've been nervous the past few weeks about finding a job and starting my life. I know God has it figured out and as Titus, who is ten years old says, "He has a plan for me." :)

This is an adventure in the making, and I will keep my little blog world (my 17 followers and few visitors) updated as much as possible. I think it is going to be a fun ride!

Things I Could Never Do Before

2011-08-30T23:51:00.001-05:00

Here I am, sitting in a new house, in a new city, in a new state. I am thousands of miles away from home. I have all of the normal feelings-excitement, anticipation, and a touch of nerves. I can hardly believe I am starting a new chapter in life. It's so refreshing. And scary.

I thought I would move to California and take on Fresno like a madwoman. I imagined myself being a champion of sorts, finding a job in a week, seeing what the city has to offer, and jumping into California life right away. What I realized instead was that I was already doing things that make me a champion, just by living life. Switching states and changing my residency isn't the only thing that makes me victorious.

I woke up this weekend with an ear infection, and it grew progressively worse until I had to call a doctor to prescribe an antibiotic. When I picked it up from the pharmacy, I saw the pill was the size of the state I now live in. I have a horrible gag reflex and was sure I would throw it up/gag it up/ or finally get it down after it was half-disintegrated. I stared at the pill, sitting in the palm of my hand, as my stomach cringed at the thought of getting it down. Finally, mustering up enough courage to take the pill, I shoved it in my mouth and took a long swig of water. The pill washed right down, and I was so surprised, I stopped mid-drink and just stared at myself in the mirror before remembering to drink more water. To most people, that story doesn't mean much. To me, however, that story is everything. I couldn't take large pills before. I would try several times before giving up and staying sick or finding an alternate route. But now I can. And I did. Champion, right there.

Pismo Beach...I just had to add it! :)

There are other things that I find myself doing, things I never thought I would see myself do. Everyone must think that I could move halfway across the country easy-peasy, but honestly? That was one of the hardest things I've done so far in my life. But I did it. So that makes me victorious. It's not always big though, like the pill. I started a bank account today in a new city. Thursday, I am getting my California drivers' license. We all have accomplishments or milestones that make us feel like champions. They seem like nothing to those around us, but we know that they are a sign of victory. Embrace those moments and remember them later when you face thing you thought you couldn't do before.

The Adventures Just Keep Coming

2011-07-23T13:48:00.000-05:00

It is pretty obvious that camp has stolen away most of my time, leaving me unable to update much this summer. :) Even the weekends have been busy or I've been too tired to even think about writing here. Sorry for that!

Camp is nearing an end, and I can't believe it. I feel like I just pulled up to Camp Rivercrest, nervous and anxious to meet new people and start something new. And now, here I am, nearly two months later, still alive (there were a few moments when I didn't think I'd quite make it) and kicking. :) I've learned a lot and been stretched in many ways, and while it isn't always fun, I'm glad I grew up this summer.

So what's the next adventure then? That has been the million dollar question in my life since returning from Europe last November. I thought I would know as soon as my plane hit the landing where I would go next and what I would do. However, God had a plan of His own, and now looking back at the past nine months, I know it was better than anything I could create.

I am moving to California! I leave August 26th. I am not sure how long I will be there yet, but I am ready for anything. :)

I guess that's all I have to say for now...feel free to ask questions. ;)

Small Town, I really do love you...

2011-05-28T01:26:00.003-05:00

For weeks now, I have been avoiding tying up loose ends and packing my bags for the summer. I hate packing so so much. I always wait until the night before (I might need something beforehand!), and then I am overwhelmed about what to take. And that's if I am going away for the weekend. Trying to pack for an entire summer is a million times harder. How will I know what I need in July? Of course, since I will have my car for some storage, I am packing half of what I own knowing full well I will only use about a third of it. Oh well.

The past couple of days, I have been faced with the realization that these are my final days in Kirksville. After living here fifteen years, it seems strange and a little unreal. My entire life has been built here- school, college, church, work, friends, family-and I will miss it. I love traveling and city life, but the small town still appeals to me and holds a special place in my heart. I wanted this final post to honor the place where I grew up.

This is the sign that greeted me the first time I remember driving to Kirksville to visit my uncle and his family. I doubt it is the exact same sign that was there in 1996, but I can still remember hitting the top of the hill and being able to see down into Kirksville. Compared to where I lived at the time, Kirksville was a city! :)

Growing up, if I could have lived at the library, I would have done it. My love for reading was intensified when I discovered the public library. Before that, I had only known a small school library where I used to live. Kirksville's public library was massive compared to the other one. I would check out a stack of ten to fifteen books (at least...I knew that max was 50), and I read them in a week if not sooner. I just walked down the aisles, looking for interesting books, first in the juvenile fiction then the adult fiction. I never tired of reading. By the time I was in junior high, I could read a three hundred page book in a day! This place will always be special to me, for giving me a way to enjoy one of my favorite past times.

There are so many streets like this, especially over by the schools. I love driving down them, especially this time of year through the fall. It is just beautiful. This is on my friend's street, outside her house. I feel as if it could be straight from Anne of Green Gables and I want to name it something special. It's almost as if it were a modern Lover's Lane, the way the trees canopy overhead.

I spent four painstaking years within these "walls." Some moments were filled with frustration, tears, and an eagerness to leave, but I look back at it all with a deep appreciation for the growth that took place and the person I became over time. I especially loved the campus like this, full of green-ness and beautiful!

Kirksville is quite the storm magnet! While I have witnessed some horrible storms that end in tragedy, I love rain in Kirksville. I love the green trees against the bluish-gray sky. I know it probably looks similar in most other places, but I just love it here. I also love to watch the storm sweep across town, leaving part of it sunny while you can see the rain pouring on the other half.

This is the best I could for a picture of the high school. I actually love the school grounds. It is gorgeous, and when the trees are in bloom, I just sigh and feel so happy. (I feel like Phoebe would insert "What is it with you and nature?" here.) Aside from that, I absolutely loved subbing at the high school. I was so excited to spend my day there, getting to know fellow teachers and work in a classroom. I could be a sub for a long time and be quite content! :)

Last but not least...my home. Nothing more needs to be said besides that. I love living here and will be sad to leave it. I am glad to have a few more weeks in it when I come home in August. But more on that later...
I'm sure I could have shared several more places than this, but it was these places I was thinking of today as I drove around town. As much as I've wanted to get away from Kirksville and live in the city, I must say, Small Town, I do love you.

The Journey Ahead

2011-04-20T22:07:00.002-05:00

"How we spend our lives is, of course, how we spend our days." ~ Annie Dillard (American writer)

For months, I have been asking myself, What next? I thought that after trekking across Europe I would have a clear idea of what my next step in life would be. Instead, I found that I had no clue what it was. That scared me. I wrestled with different options, looked for jobs (without much luck), and just decided to try to make it as was until I could find something that worked for me. That was fine until I realized one day that I was just sitting still, not moving forward at all. I could no longer just "float" along in life, waiting for the next big thing to happen. I could make plans all I wanted, but if I never pursued them, it was pointless.

As it turns out, my deciding to become proactive worked in my favor. When one of my cousins suggested I apply at a Christian summer camp in Nebraska that her husband works at, I had my doubts. I mean, go live in another state for the summer? Could I do something like that? I wasn't sure that I could. Yet I was still filled with excitement at the possibility of going. After much consideration, I sent in my application and waited to hear from the program director.

It didn't take long. I heard back the next day, and we set up a time to have a phone interview. It was a week away, and I was a bundle of nerves, waiting for the next week to go by. Finally, it did, and I had the interview. It went amazingly, and I felt such a peace about the whole thing.

That was a week ago, and I tried not to let myself think too much about it and get my hopes up. If it were the right thing for me, it would happen. In some ways, this opportunity made me more nervous than even traveling to Europe for seven weeks by myself. It was a nervous excitement, but also a little bit of fear that comes with anything new and uncertain.

Today, I received a message asking if I was still interested in the job because the director would love to have me there. (Enter huge grin and happy dance) Never did I think I would be able to do something like this, and yet here I am, heading to Nebraska in 37 days...because, yes, I did take the job. And after that? Who knows! I only know that I am taking purposeful steps and living my life to the fullest.

For those interested: The job is a staff position coordinating the snack shack but also being a part of the camp's daily life. The kids range from the ages of entering first grade to entering their senior year, and there are new campers every week. I will be 30 minutes-ish from Omaha and about that far from my cousins too. If you have any questions, please ask! I do have a lot more information. :)

I will miss living here a lot, but in this day and age, technology really does keep us closer.

In Remembrance: From the Beaches of Spain to the Streets of Paris

2011-04-01T20:21:00.001-05:00

I wrote the other day about my time in Europe, sharing three highlights from my stay in England. I wanted to share so much more, but there is just too much for one blog. Instead, I decided to break it down into small segments. This is the next installment. :)

After leaving England, I flew to Spain. Before last summer, I had never really thought much about visiting Spain. That was before one of my former roommates/friend moved there for studies. I decided it would not be a bad thing to go after all. And I am so glad I did. :)

4. The first full day I was in Spain, we decided to visit San Sebastián. It was just a bus ride away from Bilbao (where I was staying), and I was not disappointed. Even with the rain, it was beautiful. We walked through San Sebastián down to the beach, and let me tell you, it was breathtaking. Sometimes, I think back to that day when I am stressed, and it calms my nerves. We wrote in the sand, along with several others. The beach was covered with these notes, salutations to friends and family members back home (wherever that was for people), and drawings. Of course, we contributed as well, leaving our "mark" in Spain...at least until the next tide or rainstorm...both of which came within the next hour. While staring out at the water, with land situated on either side and huge billowy clouds, I felt as if I were staring at a painting and sincerely wished I could paint. I never wanted to forget that scene. The pictures are beautiful, but they do not do justice to the serenity of the moment, even with the waves starting to grow and the rain clouds forming.

On the way to San Sebastián

Love to Mom :)

Some other Americans beat us here, I guess. :)

Gorgeous.

Paris....oh, Paris. There is definitely not enough blog space in the world to share everything from my weekend in Paris. Yes, it was only a weekend, but boy do my friends and I know how to squeeze in a week's worth of adventure into one weekend! We toured like crazy, seeing the Eiffel Tower (and going up to the TOP), walked through both the Notre Dame and a smaller church that we were told was the Notre Dame but wasn't, and stood under the Arc de Triomphe. We also walked to the Louvre but because of our time crunch were unable to go inside. Next time, I will. And there will be a next time!

5. Not to be a little too predictable, but yes, the Eiffel Tower is one my highlights. How could it not be? My first glimpse of the tower was the night I arrived in Paris. We had just gotten off the metro at Champs-Élysées. We looked to our left and behind some tall trees, there was the top of the Eiffel Tower all lit up. (I tried to take a picture but failed.) The next day, I was standing up there, looking out across Paris. Paris. I still can hardly believe it. From up there, you could see everything- the Notre Dame, Arc de Triomphe, and the Royal Palais. I was mesmerized and just stood there for what seemed like hours looking out across the city. Someone was proposed to while we were up at the top too. It was a perfect moment, although I would have shouted from my spot, "I'm engaged!" had it been me. :)

There's the Eiffel Tower!

This is all that was left above me once I went to the top level!

I wish I could write about everything I experienced in Paris. Maybe I will write just about that someday. For now, these pictures are a few of my favorites. :)


The River Seine

First Glimpse of the Notre Dame

Arc de Triomphe

Look for the highlights of Copenhagen and Sweden in my next installment! :)

In Remembrance: Strolling through England

2011-03-29T18:22:00.002-05:00

"Once in awhile it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world the way they have been told to."
~ Alan Keightley

Six months ago today, I left the town I grew up in to board a plane and travel thousands of miles away. I was scared, nervous, and excited as I made my way to the airport on that early Wednesday morning. People were driving to work, and I wanted to shout out the window, "I'm going to Europe today! For seven weeks! And no one is going with me!" I didn't though.

Those six weeks (I came home one week early) were a whirlwind of adventure, fun, emotional ups and downs, and both spiritual and personal growth. Even now, I can hardly believe I traveled around six countries solo (without a computer or cell phone I might add) and still managed to come home without any problems. That I most definitely credit to God. Through the scares of the heightened terrorist levels for American tourists, nearly missing flights/trains, getting lost every once in awhile, and a riot in Paris that started the day I left, I knew I was never alone. While in the initial moment, I may have panicked (I am human, after all), that was quickly replaced by peace and the knowledge that I was not alone.

I was watching Funny Face yesterday because I had not seen it for nearly two years. I felt such strong pangs while watching Audrey and Fred walk by the Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower, and Champs-Élysées, and all the cafés. Today, as I watch The Young Victoria, I have the same feeling of missing England. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the time I spent in Europe, and yet, it all feels like a dream.

Today, I want to share a few highlights from my trip. I wish I could take everyone through all the memories and events that happened, but that would be impossible and take way more than a blog post to wade through. I do this so as not to forget what I experienced, even as time continues to move forward and those six weeks stay planted in my past. I am still living in the outcome of those experiences and hope to never forget it.

The shorter connected building (on the left) was added in the 1930s.

1. John Keats' home: When I found out I was going to London for a week, I was nearly ecstatic. You see, I was working on a senior seminar research paper on the Romantic poet, John Keats, and his home was located only twenty minutes away (via tube) from where I would be staying. I could hardly contain my excitement as I rode the tube with one of the girls I was staying with, and as we walked towards the street he lived on, I could not keep the smile off my face. Even the slight drizzle was no match for my good spirits. I remember coming to his gate where the nameplate read, "Wentworth Place" and slowly made my way down the walk towards the entrance of the house. As I stepped inside, my breath caught and the hair rose on my arms. I was standing, standing, in Keats' home. The very place he wrote some of his most moving poetry and letters to Fanny, his beloved. As my friend and I walked through the house and I stood at his fireplace, sat on his chair, and looked through the display case at Fanny's engagement ring and poem "Bright Star", I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was incandescently happy in that moment. It is noticeable in the pictures. :)

Standing under London Bridge

2. A Day with the Dunns: Have you ever experienced so many things by yourself that you just can't process much more? That was me about the fourth day in London. I had traveled nearly 4000 miles, explored the city by foot (and in the rain), and had eaten maybe one meal a day. I was enjoying myself immensely, but was also wanting something of the familiar even if just for a moment. Fortunately, I was able to have that with Danny and Sarah, who were also visiting England but for a conference. We met early in the morning and planned to take in sights all day before catching a West End (ahem, Broadway show for us Americans) that night-Les Misérables. I was terribly eager to see them, but of course, that was also the one day there was a tube strike during my stay. I crammed onto the bus with many, MANY other people trying to get to work, and stood for nearly an hour, as there were no seats to be had. Once I got off (and found them for that was also quite the ordeal), I immediately forgot all of my discomfort and worries. It felt wonderful to see friends and not feel alone. We took London by storm that day, visiting Westminster Abbey, viewing Big Ben and House of Parliament, touring Churchill's War Cabinets and the Imperial War Museum, saw the changing of the Guard and Buckingham Palace, as well as walking on the London Bridge and around the Tower of London. It was a full day and by the time we reached the Queen's Theatre, I was exhausted. Still, I was captivated by the show and have since deemed it one of my favorites. It was hard saying good-bye to the Dunns, but I was also rejuvenated for the next leg of my trip, Basingstoke. That day will also remain one of my favorite memories of my trip.

Jane's Grave

3. Jane Austen's Home and Grave: This is my last stop in England, I promise. There is just so much about my trip that sticks with me! :) I could not move on though without at least mentioning Jane Austen. I visited Winchester one day when I was in Basingstoke, and as I stood over Jane Austen's grave in Winchester cathedral, I could not help but feel in awe that I was there. Jane Austen's bones were beneath me in that very spot. The literary genius (as she is to me) who captures the hearts of women all the world over with Mr. Darcy, Captain Wentworth, and Mr. Knightley, was in that very spot. I had to politely wait for a German family to remove themselves from her stone, but once they did, I just knelt and read the inscription, pausing for a moment to take in where I was. I also saw her last residence that day, which is a private home and does not take kindly to being bothered. (A notecard in the window stated that quite clearly!)

There is much more to say about Europe, and I most definitely will add to this list in the next few days. The importance of calling these things to remembrance is to not forget why I went or what I experienced as time goes on...six months later...one year later...or twenty years later.

2011-03-23T11:32:00.001-05:00

Elizabeth Taylor died last night. I never liked her much. I was not a fan of her as a person only as an actress. She tore apart more than one relationship (including one of my favorite couples, Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher). Still, when Dad told me today that Elizabeth had passed, I wanted to cry. I realized an era is in fact ending. Gene Kelly. Cary Grant. Audrey Hepburn. Judy Garland. Katherine Hepburn. Elizabeth Taylor. And so many more. All of these stars worked their lives away to entertain us, with such class and debonair. Yet they are slowly falling away.

If you know me at all, you know that I love Hollywood, especially classic Hollywood. I sometimes wonder if people realize how hard actors and actresses worked in those early years to produce something worth seeing. It was not always sunshine and smiles. Greta Garbo said, "If only those who dream about Hollywood knew how difficult it all is." Still, those pioneers didn't give up. They persevered, helping people forget their troubles if only for just an hour or two and brought happiness to people all the world over.

It saddens me to see the talent of yesterday fade. I don't mean to say that Hollywood today isn't talented. I am saying, however, that it could take a lesson or two from those who paved the way for what today's celebrities are living in. I am reading a book right now, What Would Audrey Do?. I know, I know. You may be thinking that this book sounds lame. Another celebrity self-help book. Wrong. It examines Audrey's life and shows how she would respond in certain situations, that while seeming specific to the starlet's life, can in fact relate to anyone's life. She was full of grace, compassion, and an inner beauty that far surpasses many actresses in Hollywood today.

At one point, the author of this book points out that it doesn't take much to make a "celebrity" these days. Someone has a youtube video go viral, lands a spot on a reality television show, or says something outrageously ignorant, and BAM. Celebrity. Websites are created, t-shirts are for sale, and they are on Good Morning America or The Late Show. As the author puts it, anyone can be a "celebrity" in today's society. It has lost its meaning.

Okay. I've pushed the Classic Hollywood argument, so does that mean I don't like Hollywood today? Of course not. It's Hollywood. I believe there are some there who do realize what has been given to them by people like Jimmy Stewart, Ingrid Bergman, and Gregory Peck. There are those who carry as much class as Audrey and Cary. (Julia Roberts anyone? George Clooney?) That's why I love the Oscars. They never forget their heritage by showing clips of the early years and honoring the greats such as Mickey Rooney and Lena Horne. But there will never be another era in Hollywood like that of yesterday. There is a reason it is called the "Golden Age."

Excuse me, please!

2011-03-07T11:31:00.001-06:00

I went shopping this weekend with a friend of mine and her two daughters. We really lived up to the phrase, "Shop 'til you drop," ending the evening with both girls crashing in the backseat on the drive home. It was a fun day, and I had a blast with Payton and Ava.

Jamie (my friend) and I promised the girls if they were good all day we would get candy and ride the carousel. We were almost done shopping, and the girls had been real troopers. We let them walk while pushing the strollers behind them, and they practically ran towards the food court, holding hands. As I was watching them to make sure one didn't pull the other down in their haste or that they didn't plow into someone, I found myself saying things like, "Oh, watch out!" and "Say excuse me!" That's when I realized something. I didn't know if I was talking more to the girls or to the people who wouldn't move out of their way and pushed by them.

Payton on the carousel

I began to think about the entire day. Pushing a stroller through crowded aisles and clothes racks, only to have to back up because someone won't scoot to the side. If Payton pushed on by, I told her to say "excuse me," but was I really directing it at the adult?

This post isn't any big revelation about saying excuse me and being polite. It is about one thought: Once I realized that I was potentially saying "watch out" and "excuse me" to the adults, I felt powerful with my hidden lessons in politeness. I felt as if I was reminding the adults and the kids alike to think of others first.

Ava on her horsie :)

On another semi-related note: If you have not visited the store Crazy 8, GO! Yes, it is a clothing store for children, but the prices are not too bad and the sales are great. I suppose at this point, I must admit that I do in fact buy baby clothes on sale and put them in a box in my closet. It's a habit I acquired in high school after spending several hours in Gymboree, Baby Gap, and Janie and Jack. Even if you don't have children of your own, everyone knows someone who has children, is pregnant now or will be pregnant someday. :)

Old(er)

2011-03-01T08:00:00.017-06:00

Growing up, I remember lying in bed the night before my birthday, unable to sleep from the excitement and anticipation building up on the inside. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think about boring things that usually made me doze off, but this one night of the year, I could not for the life of me fall asleep. I did not even have that much trouble on Christmas eve compared to the night before my birthday. I just wanted it to be here...so so much.

Somehow, I managed to finally let Mr. Sandman work his magic, and my birthday came. No matter how little sleep I got the night before, this was the one morning of the year that I could bounce out of bed at 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning with no problem. I was ready to enjoy my birthday.

My 4th birthday

As I grew older, I started counting down to my birthday. When I say count down, I do not mean ten days before or three weeks before. I am talking months before. September 1st rolled around and BAM. Halfway mark. Six months and counting. I had to be one of the most annoying people obsessed about her birthday, yet my friends and family accepted my enthusiasm as a part of who I was.

After my birthday treat at school, dinner with my family, checking the mailbox for cards from relatives and opening my presents, I got ready for bed and was filled with a sinking feeling. Today was over. It was over. I had a whole year ahead of me now with no special day belonging to me. The rest of the year just felt so...ordinary.

My 17th birthday

This year, I was feeling a sort of trepidation. I did not want to move forward another year. I had the sinking feeling already, and my birthday had not even happened. 23 just felt old(er). I still wanted to be the four-year-old who got Pretty Pretty Princess and a big girl bike for her birthday, the seventeen-year-old who had the most memorable birthday party ever. But 23? What is special about that? That is halfway between 20 and 25. It's the peak of the mini rollercoaster in my 20s. I just wanted to put the brakes on and stop 22 from leaving me.

Today, I thought about being 23, and all of a sudden, it was cool to me. I could almost picture 23 being this very sophisticated age and making 22 seem very young and carefree. Of course, I wish I could be young and carefree forever, but if I can't, I would love it even more to be sophisticated and grown up. And that is what 23 has come to mean to me. Grown up. An adult. 23 is the first year for me since I was five that will have no form of schooling in it. It is the peak between 20 and 25, but as I see it, I just keep getting more sophisticated from here on out, as my age increases. As Payton, who is five put it, I am going to be a "lady soon when I keep getting older."

Cake my BFF, Kate, made on my 21st birthday

So now, 23 is no longer the big bad age that makes me want to hide under the covers until March 2. It is the "perfect" age; perfect in the sense that I am going to make the most of each day spent in 23, and not one of them will be ordinary. Because I am no ordinary person with a ho-hum life. I aim to make 23 my best year yet, full of adventure and excitement. The bar has been set high by 22 with graduating from college AND going to Europe, but I think 23 will surpass even that.

Hello, 23. :)

Who Let the Dogs Out?

2011-02-10T00:52:00.002-06:00

Fear. How many times do we let fear get the best of us? Let it wreak havoc on our minds and leave us unable to function normally? How often do we give in rather than overcome?

I will be the first to tell you that I do this more often than not. In this case, my fear is very much concrete. I have had this fear since I was around five years old, and some have even labeled it a "phobia" due to its intensity. I don't like to advertise it, and besides, if you get to know me at all, this definitely comes up at some point. It's inevitable.

I am afraid, no, petrified of dogs.

I first learned the word "petrified" in junior high. Once I heard it, I latched onto it, knowing it was the perfect word to describe my fear. Other words have been added, including "terrified" and "phobic" yet "petrified" encompasses all these things and more. The thesaurus reads (in synonyms for "petrified"),

"afraid, alarmed, anxious, fearful, frightened, frozen, have cold feet, immobilized, in a cold sweat, in a panic, numb, panicky, scared, scared stiff, spooked, terror-stricken, terrorized, unnerved."

In a nutshell, that is me around dogs. Actual live dogs. Not pictures or movies of dogs (just to be clear). Now, I know that writing something like this could cause issue, as some people don't understand how an adult could have a fear like this. I understand that. I wish I knew why it still plagues me as well. This is just my story, and hopefully, there is a happy ending someday. :)

As I said before, this fear began when I was just starting school and involved a large dog I didn't know at a park. From then on, dogs were the enemy. Since then, if I know there is a dog around, my heart starts beating quickly and loudly in my ears, my stomach ties up in knots, and I feel sick. My whole body starts shaking so badly, that at times my knees start knocking together. I usually end up crying as well.

As a child, I was met with varying reactions to my fear. Some were very compassionate and would hold their dog around me or put the dog in a different room/outside. Others were not so kind and chose to let the dog run around me while I tried climbing up any adult nearest me. (If I ever did that to someone reading this, I apologize.) I don't begrudge those who didn't help me. They just didn't understand.

In my teenage years, I could obviously no longer climb on my dad's shoulders or scramble onto the back of a family member. Instead of going into crying hysterics, I would freeze whenever I saw a dog (or refuse to get out of the house/vehicle) and when my parents or whoever pushed me, I would panic/get angry and turn into...well, a big meanie. Even now, in the rare occasions that I am forced to face my fear, my reflex is to get mad at the person nearest me and lash out.

I think the biggest part of my fear is that I feel alone in it. I don't mean that I feel like I am the only one who has the fear, but that I am the only one around me who understands it. Recently, my mom pointed out it wasn't true. My mom and dad have been going through it twenty one years too. They've been the ones I've climbed on, pleaded with, and yelled at. My brother and sister have also had to learn how to deal with it. My friends too. Anyone that I am close to has had to hold a dog, make sure a dog is put away, or help me calm down after I've had an encounter with a dog. It takes its toll on everyone.

When I was in Europe in the fall, one thing I noticed was that I wasn't afraid of the dogs there. I was jumpy at times because most dogs are so well trained that they do not even need leashes, but overall, I was calm and in control when a dog crossed my path. I started to wonder why that was. It wasn't like a conscious decision to "get over" my fear, but somehow, I was doing that. I thought at first that maybe it was because the dogs there are so well-trained, that I wasn't nervous. That was before I went to Copenhagen.

One day, I was walking through Copenhagen with a friend, looking at all the touristy stuff by New Harbour. As we walked, I saw a stray sea dog coming towards us. It looked like a sheepdog. I was a little nervous, but my friend was talking and I didn't want to interrupt her. I kept my heart rate at a decent level and tried to show no signs I was scared. We passed by the dog...and nothing happened. It kept walking. I was amazed at myself. Something like that back home would have frozen me in terror.

I decided after much thought that the reason I did so well over in Europe had two reasons. 1) I was alone a lot without my usual "support group" of family and friends to help me when I crossed paths with a dog, and 2) I didn't want to look foolish in front of the people I was visiting. Since I can't go live in Europe just because I am not afraid of dogs there, I started to research what it would take here to get me over my fear.

There is therapy for this. I am not the only one out there who struggles with this fear. But it involves a dog park. I live in a small town, and there is no dog park near me. Plus, I don't feel comfortable asking some stranger if I can pet their dog, followed by playing with it two weeks later. (Although perhaps that is normal at a dog park. I have no idea obviously.) That idea was nixed then rather quickly.

I am still looking for ideas or suggestions. I really do think that enough is enough. My sister is being of great help right now. She has a dog that lives indoors, and tonight, I went in the same room as the dog (a big deal), and she didn't even have to hold him. He just laid there calmly. I got less than six inches away too. This is progress for me, as her dog is a lab and can be pretty hyper. (He is an eight month old puppy and full of energy.)

I know my family and friends will continue to help me work this out. I know this fear can be removed, if I am willing to work on it. And I am. Starting now.

An Old Haunt Revisited

2011-02-05T19:00:00.000-06:00

Most people don't stay in their hometown to attend college after high school...but I did.

Most people don't stay in their college town after they graduate from college...but I did.

It can't come as a surprise then that it feels odd to visit old haunts, as Anne would say, around the university. Memories flood my mind as I pass by the buildings or see groups of college kids walking down Franklin to eat on the square in between classes. Was I really them just last year?

For the first time since Finals Week in May 2010, I walked into the Student Union Building today. I purposely avoided this moment for months because a) I wanted it to be a majestic moment when I did go back, such as a reunion with friends and b) it just feels weird going back since I've graduated. Everything feels different.

There was no angelic chorus when I walked through the door, no bright lights making a way for me. If anything, there were a few rays of sun reflecting on the snow. I walked down the stairs in a nearly empty building and found my way to the ATM, which is why I was there in the first place. Another dash in my majestic return. No friends awaited me. Only some dancers, and from the way they were dressed and the music they were listening to, I am assuming they were swing dancers. I found the right ATM and almost laughed out loud. The poor dancers had put their laptop between two of the machines and taped computer speakers to the top of the two ATMs. Unfortunately, I needed one of those ATMs. They had to wait until I was finished with my transaction before they could continue. I felt awkward going through the process to withdraw money. Oh, and did I mention the ATM was using some sort of dial-up connection? I can equate it best to retrieving money from a machine and having someone behind you waiting in line, only times that person by six.

Although I did not have the beautiful return to Truman like I wanted, running into the arms of friends who have moved away and seeing professors from past classes, what happened today reminded me how much I loved being in college. Why is it that we rush through life trying to get somewhere else instead of enjoying exactly where God has placed us?

"A Really Kindred Spirit"

2010-11-29T23:50:00.002-06:00

"A bosom friend -- an intimate friend, you know -- a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will too. Do you think it's possible?" ~Anne of Green Gables

I know that I do not post blogs regularly. I rarely have anything of great import to post. I even slacked when I was in Europe. Today, however, I have something impressed upon my heart: thankfulness. I know, I know. Thanksgiving was last week. That doesn't matter to me though. I will always be thankful for something, and right now I am thankful for my kindred spirit, Serenity.

I would not even know what a kindred spirit was if it were not for Serenity. She introduced me to the Anne of Green Gables series when I was thirteen years old. I read the books, all eight of them, because she liked them...and I liked her. I wanted to be just like her, and if she loved Anne so much, I wanted to see why. I was immediately sucked into Avonlea and the characters' lives, connecting with Anne as if she were a long lost friend. When I finished the series, I was devastated. There had to be more than this! (It turns out there was, but it was just published in 2009: The Blythes Are Quoted.)

I don't remember quite when I realized that Serenity was a kindred spirit. I think I always felt the connection, that strong tie that binds you to a person, but I never said it until I was a freshman in college. Once I was out of high school, the unseen barrier that divides the child from the adult was removed, and I could comfortably say, "I think you will always be my kindred spirit." (Something I did say in an email that I still have to this day.)

Having a kindred spirit, I have learned, is a beautiful thing. Not only do you never run out of things to talk about or have several common interests, but you always feel loved and cherished by someone no matter what. I don't know how many times Serenity has offered her support and love. So often I wanted the chance to do the same in return. I wish I could write a song about this as easily as Taylor Swift does or write a poem describing exactly how much Serenity means to me. Instead, I will use modern technology to shout to the world how amazing she is, how beautiful she is, both inside and out. I will tell everyone when I talk about her that her positive attitude, even when life is handing her lemons, her strength, her bravery far exceeds my own and most other people I know. I will do my best to describe the light that shines out of her smile, her laughter, and her eyes when you are with her, and you can't help but be affected. I feel a deep pride in saying, "Seren is my friend, my kindred spirit."

Ooh La La! The Thrills of Paris!

2010-10-19T07:11:00.000-05:00

Before I delve into Paris, I will do a quick recap of Spain:

It was beauitful! I went to the beach on Monday, and for the most part the weather was perfection. It did rain on our walk back to the bus, but I still think it was worth seeing San Sebastian! I explored some on my own, but my favorite part was shopping, of course! I found the most flattering jacket and bought it. The city of Bilbao itself was filled with architecture everywhere...statues, stairs, even the metro system had some architecture at either main entrance. I loved every moment. Seeing Jenny was great too, and I felt bad that she was sick and I was too. It made the damp weather hard to go out in, but we did our best, and I am satisfied with my time in Spain.

Now on to Paris! Can anyone say whirlwind adventure? We only had one and a half days really, but the girls and I managed to see a few things and experience Paris at its finest. We of course saw the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame, and the Louvre. There was lots of walking involved as well as getting lost on the metro a few times. It was all part of the adventure though! Saturday night, we ate at one of the most delightful little cafes across from the Notre Dame. I had the crème brûlée, which was to die for! I would go back to Paris just to have that again. :)

While we were at the TOP of the Eiffel Tower, Elise saw someone get proposed to. The woman said yes, thankfully, and then they went back to talking! I suppose none of us really know what you do in that situation, but we thought going back to talking immediately after was a little weird. I guess on top of the Eiffel Tower, you can't do much else. Maybe scream that you are engaged...like yelling it from the rooftops? I know that's what I would do...but I don't want to be proposed to up there. :)

English at Heart

2010-10-09T08:54:00.002-05:00

I'm not off to a very good start of blogging, am I? :) I will try harder to write more than once a week!

This week has been filled with touristy things and travel! I saw Les Miserables and fell in love with it. It is such an emotional story. I also toured several places on Monday, including Westminster Abbey, Winston Churchill's War Cabinets and Museum, saw the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, and viewed the London Bridge and Tower of London. That already seems so long ago though!

I am now in the English countryside and have been enjoying the quiet and peaceful atmosphere. I was able to help out in the church's school that I am visiting. Here, my degree in English and specifically British literature, is quite useful! I was told by one of the teachers that I am really English at heart. That made me so happy. :)

I drove to Winchester yesterday (left) and explored the city, known for the Great Hall (part of Arthurian legend) and the Round Table, as well as Jane Austen's house and gravesite. It was the perfect day. I was obviously overwhelmed when I stood over Jane's grave and realized that this was the place she actually was, not in some far off place that I read about online or imagined while reading Pride and Prejudice. It was wonderful.

Tonight, I am going to a barn dance (yeehaw!), but I don't think it's anything like what I've been to back home. I am sure there will be pictures and some detail to come on that event. :)

Tomorrow, it's off to the next adventure!

It's a Jolly Holiday in London!

2010-10-02T17:25:00.002-05:00

I've walked a lot in the past two days and seen many touristy things! I was mostly on foot and today I am completely sore, but it was worth it. Of course, it rained the whole time but rain here is different. It's just sort of present and you get used to it. It's also just a drizzling sort and never pours like at home. :) In all, I covered about 4 miles on foot, which turned out to be a good exercise for me. I saw the National Gallery, which has several famous paintings and was overwhelming. I loved that I had taken an art history course and learned about most of the paintings. I also visited St. Martin's, a church next to the Gallery. I ate in the cafe downstairs in the crypt...quite interesting to say the least. I also walked to Westminster Abbey and crossed the Thames, right by Big Ben! It was a wonderful first day!

Today was a special day...I visited John Keats' house. He was my senior seminar research topic, and it felt unreal that I could sit in the very room he worked in and touch the same mantle he stood at. It was absolutely delightful. I could not take indoor pictures, but the outdoor landscape was beautiful. There was a mulberry tree that had been there for over 200 years!

The people here are lovely as well. I feel right at home with everyone and am learning how everything works here. I watched the X Factor tonight (and not on youtube for once), and also their version of Dancing With the Stars (called Come Strictly Dancing). They had a former member of Parliament dancing! It was, um...yeah. Anyway, I am a happy girl here having the time of her life!

The Start of Something Good

2010-09-30T14:29:00.000-05:00

I am writing this blog in another place! It is still so unreal to me. I flew in this morning after a travel day of 28 hours, got through customs and all of that, then took the underground straight to my stop where I met up with a marvellous lady, Gemma, who showed me where I am staying and then took me to the nearest shopping centre. The entire time I was sitting on the tube, I kept thinking, "Here I am...I am really in Europe. The adventure has begun." As I saw bits of scenery, my stomach got butterflies and the weariness faded away (temporarily). This is really happening.

I must add something here because it was so perfect and just what I needed to start the trip right. I boarded the plane in St. Louis with a girl who ended up sitting next to me on the way to JFK. It turns out, she was from Berlin. We both had long layovers, so after talking the entire two hours on the first flight, we decided to hang out until she had to board her plane that evening. It made the time go so much faster, and I made a new friend. It was exactly what I needed to boost my travelling spirits.

I haven't done much in the way of sightseeing yet. I am going to wander through the city tomorrow and see a few things here and there. It should be great fun! Their transportation system is excellent. The states (at least Chicago) could learn a thing or two...like cleanliness. :)

One last thing: you may notice some words are "misspelled" or at least not American English. The computer I am writing from has a British English spell check. I rather like it!

Off for now,

Nikki

Off I Go!

2010-09-29T06:52:00.000-05:00

I am now counting down the hours until I get on the plane that takes me into a whole new adventure. 3 hours and 15 minutes. I feel like I am in free fall mode right now, knowing that I should hit the ground running but still slightly afraid that I may land on my ankle wrong as I hit the ground or that I will trip on my own feet.

I think that this next seven weeks is another step to becoming an independent adult. I thought graduating would have been enough or maybe finding my career path. Still. I am joyful to take this in-between step. I also feel like a "grown-up" for leaving my computer at home. Those of you who know me know that it was hard enough to leave my "Friends" DVDs behind for seven weeks, but I think that leaving my computer behind, something that can be distracting, will prove to let me see what is around me and keep me free to do other things. :) Plus, everyone has computers over there, so I can hop on and off every day or so to keep people in the loop.

The butterflies in my stomach are starting to build, begging to be released. I'm not quite sure they will fully be released until the trip is over! I am ready to take this trip head-on and see what God will do. It is going to be one amazing ride!

This seems to be more of an informative post, but I haven't left yet and can't give much more than that.

Talk to you soon!

The Mr. Darcys and Captain Wentworths of the World

2010-08-25T12:57:00.000-05:00

In my attempt to blog while I am in Europe, I've decided that I need to "practice" before I leave. I am such a horrible blogger, which is most obvious just by looking at the date on my last post: April 16. If I am to keep a blog going at all in Europe, I have to start now, I've decided.

I may be stepping out on a limb with a blog about the opposite sex, but I am in no way "bashing" men. In fact, this blog is more of an admittance of my own behavior rather than a slandering of the male sex. I've been thinking lately how often I find myself, or one of my friends, swooning over men from an era that is quite different from the era in which we live now. We...and I really do include myself in this...we watch every BBC/Masterpiece Theater adaptation of Jane Austen's or Elizabeth's Gaskell's novels and nearly melt at every touch, every word, every moment the gentleman's eyes connect with his fair maiden. Our stomachs tie up in knots, and we forget to breathe as we are immersed into the scene unfolding before our very eyes.

I have a feeling that some may read this and think, "Good grief! It's just a story...this girl is crazy! Mr. Darcy is just a character. Mr. Knightley doesn't exist. And Mr. Thornton was mean!" While I do admit it does seem slightly silly to become wrapped up in these characters, it is inevitable. Most women, at least those who hug their pillows and hardly dare to blink lest they miss something while watching Pride and Prejudice or North and South, are looking/waiting for their own Mr. Darcy. Even their own Mr. Thornton. It is not just women of our time who have searched for their Austenian gentleman. Women have been falling at the feet of Captain Wentworth and Mr. Darcy for nearly two hundred years. There is something instilled in these characters that is timeless and continues to make a mark on girls of all ages.

I still have not admitted my own folly in this. I watched a film tonight, Lost in Austen, in which a woman from modern London mysteriously changes places with Elizabeth Bennett. While the entire plot of Pride and Prejudice is changed, it all works out for good in the end, with a few bumps and potholes along the way. It was not so much the story itself that caught my attention tonight but the title of the film. Lost in Austen. It echoed in my head when the movie finished and continued to repeat over and over. I realized that I was maybe a little lost in Austen myself.

As I watched these films and read the books, I made a mental list of the qualities that I thought were essential to finding a man. It is not that making a list of qualities is a bad thing. In fact, I think you should know what you want and should not settle for less than that. My mistake, however, was evident once I was absorbed in the world of Austen and other writers like her. I was so set on that mental list of qualities, that I readily excused the weaknesses of the characters I had fallen in love with. Of course, I knew that Mr. Darcy was prejudiced or that Mr. Thornton was a little rough around the edges, yet I told myself that those character flaws were what helped drive the story.

While that may be true, I find that I am not so ready to excuse those same flaws, or new ones, in men today. I bemoan the fact that these men from novels have become non-existent. I rant with my girlfriends about society's lack of single gentlemen. (I am in no way saying that those who have found their own are not really with a gentlemen or their own "Mr. Darcy.") We turn away from men who do not seem to "fit the bill," even at first glance, and barely give them another minute of our time.

If I take a good, hard look in my heart I find that I am being unfair to men all the world over. Besides the fact that I do not know all of the men in this world, could it be that I focus too much on the flaws and fail to see the strengths, the very qualities I am looking for? Do we all, as females, fail to recognize that the flaws of Mr. Darcy, Captain Wentworth, or any of the other gentlemen we prefer from the novels were what the heroines themselves focused on at first? Elizabeth found Mr. Darcy to be insufferable and full of prejudice. She was not swept off her feet at first meeting. It took working through the flaws in both characters to realize he was Mr. Darcy *swoon*.

I will still get teary-eyed while watching Mr. Thornton see Margaret Hale on the opposite train at the station. I will feel the butterflies in my stomach when Captain Wentworth shows Anne her childhood estate and begins to dance with her in the front yard. I think that even if I never find my own Mr. Thornton or Captain Wentworth (although I hope that I do), I still need to see the qualities in the opposite sex and not be so quick to find the flaw(s). And this is going to take lots of work!

The Silver Platter of Life

2010-04-16T16:16:00.001-05:00

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Andre Gide, French writer

Today started just like any other. I woke up late for class, rushed around to get ready, and opened the front door to leave the comfort of my house. The after effects of rain. Part of me wanted to go back inside and crawl under the covers, ignoring the puddles and slight chill in the air. Still, the "better" student inside of me pushed my feet forward and thus my day began.

Have you ever began a day, like this one? Not different from any other? You're just walking down the street and then Bam! your life is changed forever. (Would a post of mine be complete w/out one reference to Friends?) It could be many things: a new relationship, a baby, a new job. etc. You see it happen to others and never think you could be so lucky yourself. When the world (whatever the world represents to you) is offered on a silver platter, you don't think twice that this is you, a normal average day person, who never has life-changing opportunities.

Do you walk around it, pushing that silver platter aside for the path you are already walking? It's safe that way; you know the path. You kind of even expect how life might turn out if you stay on it. Or...do you take a chance on life and see where this new adventure takes you, losing sight of the shore and jumping in feet first?

I am ready to take a running leap of faith and make the biggest splash the world has ever seen!

The Thrills and the Chills of Subbing

2010-01-27T00:12:00.003-06:00

Whew. I made it through my first day of subbing. It was quite the experience for someone who grew up in a small church school most of her life and only subbed in the same school. (Note that I do not dislike my upbringing or any previous experience; public school is VASTLY different.)

First off, by request of friends, Matt and Kate, I wore my teacher-y outfit, complete with a sweater. Granted, once I got there I realized I could have worn jeans. Oh well. I looked professional. :) Notice the picture that's right here. Typical first day of school picture, minus the backpack. (This was taken at the end of the day. I was very tired!)

Let's see...the kids were very sweet except when they got on each other's nerves. Then, kindness flew out the window, even towards me. It looked like I was choosing sides many times, when of course, I wasn't. I think I held my own though, and quite well. I had about 25 students, I think. That is a lot for me to take on at once!

As far as turning out like previous substitutes I had, I don't think that happened today. Two boys from another class that I was teaching tried to convince me they could sit beside each other (Kindergarten nap time déjà vu!), which I did not fall for. They kept lobbing these ideas of what their teacher lets them do, and I kept hitting them right out of the park. :) It took a lot of effort, but I succeeded. As far as the storytelling goes, I did not really have a chance to say much besides what we were working on. I did tell them my name was Anastasia, to which they all said it was a beautiful name and they really liked it.

Matt suggested I teach them the "Math is a Wonderful Thing" song. As much as I wanted to, there wasn't a way, as it was test day in math. I did, however, get to talk about Schoolhouse Rock, which I think is awesome. They even knew what I was talking about. (It was a little disappointing to find out they only see them through youtube. ABC's One Saturday Morning, anyone? :D) Still, that was something that my teacher used to teach me, and I've always wanted to do the same.

One thing that kind of bothered me was a social studies book we read. It was made for the classroom, but it had a cuss word right in it. I had to read the book aloud to the students, and I almost said it right there. Personally, I don't like to cuss, but I'm not going to go ballistic on others that do it. To have it in a classroom teaching tool though? Is that normal? I really have no idea.

Overall, today was good. The next time will be great, and the third, tenth, and fiftieth time will be even better. Practice makes perfect, right?

Miss Corder (NOT Miss CorNer...half the class thought I said that!)

the Sub...

2010-01-25T23:30:00.000-06:00

I got my first call tonight to substitute teach tomorrow. This is my first time at a public school, and it's the first time I do not know the kids. (Previous subbing has been done at my church's school.) I am excited but nervous. It's the fifth grade classroom. How do fifth graders act these days? Rowdy? Mean? A little mature or not at all? I have NO idea.
When I think about the kind of sub I want to be, I always look back on my own experience with subs. I went to the public elementary school in a small town in Missouri for three years (K-2nd). I only remember two substitutes from that time. In Kindergarten, we told our substitute teacher that we had long center times in the morning and at nap time we could lay wherever we wanted. I put my mat next to my cousin's, even though we were not allowed to be by each other (due to playing around and talking). She believed us, and the next day, our teacher (who was just plain mean) yelled at us. It bothers me that in Kindergarten we knew to lie to the sub. Seriously? I was five years old!
In first grade, we had a substitute teacher, and I still remember his name: Mr. Hoffman. He rushed us through our seatwork, giving us the answers when we were done, and then told Hercules stories the rest of the day. No joke. He loved Hercules. I believe I had him for two days. He was never asked back. Our teacher was amazed that the entire class of 30 students received 100 percents, and we told her that he gave us the answers. She was furious. I think he was probably better off being a professor of mythology or something.

So you see, with only these experiences in mind, how do I know how to be a good sub? One that doesn't let the kids walk all over her and lie, but still has fun and can share the knowledge that has been gleaned over the years? I hope the kids want me back, and even more that the school staff does.

More to come on the subbing topic!

Coping with the sick bug

2010-01-17T21:30:00.001-06:00

I hate having colds. Right now I am suffering from the worse kind...stuffy nose, nasty cough, headache, and I put "d's" on the end of my words like Monica did (See Friends Season 6 Episode 13). Usually, I love being sick, as it gives me an excuse to sleep and not do anything. (Twisted thinking, I know.) However, with this semester being so tough, it is actually freaking me out. I've not been able to do any homework that is due this week since I can't do anything for more than a few minutes before I feel wiped out. This has led to more than enough sleeping and entertainment watching.

Whenever I get sick, I pull out my "sick movies." These are the movies that I always watch when the sick bug bites. Some have been on the list for a long time, while others are recently added. I may not get through all of them, but I have them beside me just in case.

1. You've Got Mail - I have been watching this whenever I get sick for the past four years, solely for the scene when Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) is sick and Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) comes and takes care of her. That, and I think their story is one of the last great love stories of Hollywood that is not tainted. ;)

2. Gidget, Gidget Goes Hawaiian, Gidget Goes to Rome - I love the Gidget series; so much, in fact, that I own the TV series as well. Its lightheartedness and nostalgic feeling makes me forget how sick I am. I just want to be on the beach with my own Moondoggie (preferrably with a different name).

3. Some Kind of Wonderful - This is a newer one for me, but I love it. It brings me to tears everytime, sick or not, when Keith (Eric Stoltz) gives Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson) the earrings. It then makes me want to watch He's Just Not that Into You for the Gigi/Alex storyline.

4. Anne of Green Gables and the Sequel - Need I really say much about these two? The greatest love story of all time, and if the movies had just ended with the sequel, then all would be well. Still, the first two are well done, despite the end of the second when Gilbert is ill not following the book. Nevertheless, it makes my sickness look minscule compared to Gilbert's near death experience.

5. Penelope - I almost forgot this one! This is my favorite James McAvoy character by far (well, he did do a good job as Mr. Tumnus), and really, I have no words for this. It is definitely a must-see.

6. If I am up for a longer movie, I opt for Meet Me in St. Louis, Singin' In the Rain or any other classic on my shelf (In the Good Old Summertime - an earlier version of You've Got Mail, Summer Stock, Bringing Up Baby, Roman Holiday, etc.).

This is the main list, and movies are always floating in and out. However, these are ones that I never tire of. :)

I am off to watch Gidget Goes Hawaiian...What do you like to watch? ;)

The Sky is Falling?

2009-12-14T23:32:00.001-06:00

It is the third week of December already! Enter Finals Week. A week later than usual, and I have been busy studying. Today, I had two finals. Both were in-class essays. One was in World Literature and the other was in World History. World literature required writing four essays in a two hour period, with each being at least a page and a half. The second final had a broad question that pretty much encompassed everything I had learned.

Yesterday, I studied until my brain literally shut down. I could no longer make connections with concepts or brainstorm ideas for the essays. Rather stressed, I went to bed for a few hours of sleep before getting up to study some more.

I dream a lot about random things that don't make sense. My dreams are usually pretty vivid, and I remember them easily. Last night was no exception. I had a dream that I was with a few people (Mom, sister, a couple of cousins) and we were driving on this country road. I looked out the window and saw Earth. I'm not sure how that worked since we are on Earth, but there it was, and it started rotating around and around, going over the car, under the Earth I was on, and coming back on the other side.

All of a sudden, we were no longer in the car, and the Earth turned out to be a huge inflatable but heavy globe. I came to the conclusion that someone had shot it up into the air from "over that way" and it kept bouncing on its own. Before I knew it, the globe was bouncing on us, and I yelled out that we needed to run away from it. I looked up, and it covered the sun, before coming back down and almost landing on me. I woke up then, a little freaked out.

I thought about this dream on the way to my final this morning, and I realized what brought it about. My two finals, both in world classes (lit and history). Somehow, in the dark recesses of my mind, my finals had crawled into my dreams, causing a severe pounding that left me with lots of fear and insecurity. The world was a symbol of the powerful two essays trying to kill me.

I took those two finals today, and I think I may have conquered them. You don't win today, World.

The Greatest "Pirate" Story Ever Told

2009-12-04T23:47:00.000-06:00

It isn't the best picture, but this is the cover of my new children's storybook. It is an idea that has been developing the past year with two of the kids that I baby-sit.
Whenever the kids are ready for bed, we "sail the seven seas" as pirates, a game that stems from my days as a pirate on the Kingdom Kids crew. (Kingdom Kids is my church's children's church program.) As we created new adventures, the kids expressed the desire to write our stories down.
The youngest, who is seven, asked me last night if I would publish this and asked how many copies I thought I would make. :)
Hopefully, there will be more to the story in the weeks to come. Although it is not an easy topic for me to tackle, it has been mostly effortless up to this point. I love our pirate names (Nameless Hilary, Mischevous Witty, and One-Eyed Pete), and I think our adventures will be grand. I believe that this is to become a series in which a different storyline will be inserted where "pirate" is right now. (The Greatest "Ninja" Story Ever Told...yeah right....The Greatest "Hot Air Balloon" Story Ever Told)

Speaking of the children I baby-sit, I am hoping to write a book someday about my baby-sitting years (specifically this family of seven years). You wouldn't believe what I've been through! It has been such an adventure, to be sure. :P

As always, there are other topics to discuss, but I will save them for another day.

So long my two viewers! ;)

Getting Through the Tough Spots

2009-10-28T22:25:00.002-05:00

I haven't written on here in over a month, and my last post was about a book review. How sad! Life has been crazy lately and stressful. Whenever I hit these hard times, there is only one thing I want to do (besides cry and ask God to get me past it). I want to immerse myself into the world of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and pretend I have no worries that are bigger than what they are "going through." (Yes, I know they are fictional characters...)

If I'm having a bad day, I just turn on an episode of Friends and forget my own problems as I watch Rachel and Ross' roller coaster relationship and their parenting skills as they sing "Baby Got Back" to Emma. My problems seem minute compared to Phoebe trying to teach Joey French. Whenever I hear the theme song, I just smile to myself because I really do feel like they are "there for me" when many things are going wrong in my life. Even better than the television show, I know that I have my own Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Monica, and Chandler friends in my life. Friends who help me through hard times. I have "no need to worry" with friends like mine.

A Friends moment I had to share in parting. :)

Book Review: Plain Promise

2009-09-17T19:48:00.002-05:00

Recently, I saw where one of my friends was reviewing books sent to her (for free!) and in return, she just had to write a couple reviews. I decided I would love to do it as well. This is my first review, on the book Plain Promise by Beth Wiseman.

Set in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, Plain Promise is about a widow, Sadie Fisher, and Englisher Kade Saunders. Sadie rents out a cottage to Englishers who come visit Pennsylvania Amish country. Kade comes to Lancaster County, hoping to get away from his life and sort out the mess that's been made of it. While there, his autistic son comes to live with him for the first time since he and his wife separated three years earlier. Now facing raising his son alone, Kade realizes that things need to change in his life.
Sadie is worried what the bishop will think of the Englisher staying with her for three months, and becomes even more so when she starts to have feelings for Kade. She constantly wonders what God's will is for her life, and if it includes a husband and children. Plain Promise is a story that shows the faithfulness of God if we just wait on His plan and timing.

I've read several Amish fiction books, and I was at first skeptical about this one, thinking it would be like all the others. I was, however, surprised to find that the story was unlike any I had ever read, especially the ending. Beth Wiseman writes moving Amish fiction like that of Beverly Lewis.

**There are two others that precede this book, Plain Perfect and Plain Pursuit.**

Lightening Bolts of Clarity

2009-09-11T23:56:00.000-05:00

Recently, I was lying on my bed, listening to some calming music. I had had a rough day and was exhausted. My mind was feeling the same kind of strain as my body, and thoughts about a past issue in my life kept rearing their ugly heads at me, hoping that I would take note of them. For most of the day, I was able to push them back and think about other things. It was an issue I had not thought about for a long time, and it wasn't even a real issue in my life now...not in the same way as before anyways.

Lying there, the thoughts resurfaced, and I was too tired to fight them off. One by one, each thought paraded across my mind, leaving muddy prints behind. Pretty soon, my mind was clouded with those footprints, and I couldn't see clearly anymore.

All of a sudden, BAM! lightening streaked across my mind, not only illuminating and blinding out where the muddy footprints had been left, but striking down on a realization. In that one second, my perspective on the situation completely changed. I saw myself as others had seen me then, and I understood what my friends had been warning me about. It was as if I had been removed completely from the picture and could see what was happening. Roger M. always said in my Bible class, "Sometimes you can't see the full picture because you are inside the frame."

Have you ever had a moment of clarity, the one where a lightening bolt strikes you, especially compared to a light bulb going off over your head? You wonder why you didn't see it before, whatever "it" may be. Sometimes, there is no warning. You are lying in your bed or reading a book, and BAM! lightening streaks across your mind, revealing the missing link, one that you might not have known was even missing. And for just a moment, life seems slightly less muddled.

I feel sad for those who have never experienced that. It's true that it is sometimes painful and doesn't always bring a warm feeling with it. However, I would never want to give up those moments, both the good and the bad. Without them, I think that I wouldn't see the bigger picture or in that one instance, see where something is more harmful than helpful.

I have no idea if this makes sense or if I just rambled for five paragraphs. Either way, those are my thoughts. :)

2009-09-03T23:38:00.000-05:00

Life isn't very "shiny" right now. It's not horrible; there is just a dullness to it. I'm not sure what makes it that way. Perhaps falling into the routine of school once again, trying Weight Watchers, and knowing that life is waiting for me out there if I could just make it through this year. (Where does Weight Watchers come in? I make it very limiting so that I don't run out of points, therefore not eating all the foods I love.) I have somehow come to another season of waiting in my life, and I always grow restless when that happens. I think the difference this time, however, is the knowledge that I am about to step out of a covering that I've had since I was five. School will no longer be my main occupation, unless I am teaching it.

Although life has become rather "blah" to me, there are a few glimmers that get me through. Tonight, I baby-sat for a family that I've watched for seven years. After putting the two younger ones to bed, I waited, knowing that one of them would come to me with some sort of complaint or request. Sure enough, not five minutes later, the youngest found me.

"He won't stop making noises!"she complained.

"If you keep asking him to stop, then he will keep doing it because he knows it annoys you. If you ignore him, he will stop."

LONG PAUSE as she played with her stuffed puppy...

"Were you talking to me?" she asked finally.

"Yes, I was." I said, trying not to laugh.

"Oh, what did you say?"

I repeated what I had said the first time.

"But I'm not annoying him! He's annoying me!"she said, indignantly.

"I know. Ignore him and he will quit!" I replied, not sure how she could misunderstand me.

"...So you want me to annoy him?" she asked, confused.

"IGNORE HIM! Go to sleep!" I closed the door to her protests.

Maybe annoying him would have worked after all.

The Impressionable First Day of History 133

2009-08-29T13:38:00.000-05:00

I think this semester is going to be interesting. Having taken most of my required classes, I am now enjoying electives. I call them the Sunday drive classes (as of two seconds ago), and I aim to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the "ride."

One of my professors has already proven to be hilarious, something that I know helps me get through the hour. Apparently, it also helps him. :D Yesterday, we had the basic introduction class, sharing our names and their meanings. Surprisingly, over half of the class didn't even know what their name meant. I've known the meaning of my name since I was in fourth grade. I even know the meanings of the names of my future kids. (Granted, I've been called obsessed before.It comes with the territory, I suppose.)

My professor is from Sweden, as is his name. Calling on us to guess the meaning, and getting no response whatsoever, he informed us that the first part means "thunder" or "god of thunder" as in Thor. (See picture, above right.) The second part means "bear," creating the meaning...God of thunder bear! He is allowing us to call him Dr. God of thunder bear.

Dr. God of thunder bear called attendance: "Daniel."
Daniel: "Here, but I go by Danny."
Dr. GoTB: "Yes, but one day you will go by Daniel again."
Danny: "Um, okay."
Dr. GoTB: "No, when you have a job interview you will."
Danny: "Probably not, but okay."
Dr. GoTB: "I had this friend Bobby, who wasn't getting hired, so I told him he couldn't go by Bobby. He needed to go by Robert. He introduced himself as Robert, and he got the job!"
Danny: "Okay, I will tell them my name is Robert then."

Come to find out, we have a Bobby in our class...oops.

Setting a Goal...

2009-08-26T18:12:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in a long time...on here, that is. Life has kept me busy in the past year. However, that is about to change. I am going to set a goal of writing so many times a week, just to keep in the habit of writing. Along with the normal blogging, I am hoping to start a book review system that a friend of mine wrote a blog about where I can read a book (sent to me for free) as long as I review it on here when I finish. Not too shabby, I'd say!

My number one goal of writing is to think thoughts "out loud" (or in this case, online) instead of just talking to myself while grocery shopping or browsing books and movies. I'm excited and can't wait to see what comes of this new endeavor. :)

Until I write again! (You didn't think I'd start today, did you?)

My Latest Inspiration...

2008-10-08T11:30:00.000-05:00

I recently watched one of my favorite movies, You've Got Mail. Well, actually I watched it twice. I love the story- how innocent Meg Ryan is, the relationship between her and Tom Hanks, and the children's bookstore. I absolutely adore The Shop Around the Corner.

It is this movie that has inspired me to do something I never thought I could do before. I love children's literature. If you asked me to list my favorite books (not just children's books), most would be children's lit or Juvenile Fiction. I've always loved reading, and children's books are just so much fun to read. Being an English major, I was able to take a class at Truman on children's lit. That combined with You've Got Mail and I have found a new career! I've never been so inspired by a movie.

I would like to open a children's bookstore, just like The Shop Around the Corner. A place for kids to come listen to stories and play but to also be able to buy the books they love. I doubt it would soar in Kirksville, but I could see it in a city...as long as Fox Books isn't around the corner, a.k.a. Barnes and Noble. :) Just imagine me in that picture instead of Meg Ryan, wearing the princess hat. :)

If you have never seen You've Got Mail I definitely recommend it. It is adorable and funny. I think I might watch it again...

41st Family Reunion

2008-06-22T21:22:00.000-05:00

Today I went to my 41st family reunion. It was different than years before...hardly anyone came. It is true that we have had some deaths in the past year, but each year there are less and less people. It is rather sad. Normally, I say that it could be my last year, that I might not go anymore. I mean, I made it to 41, right? (I've had that many because my mom's family has two in June every year on both of her parents' sides. I've never missed one.) I even said it this year.

I was wrong. I, along with my three of my cousins, volunteered to be in charge of it next year. I knew it would be some responsibility, and I love administrating things, so it should be fun. This also means that I will be attending next year. I am also somewhat in charge of it. Wow...it is still sinking in. The thing is, if no one volunteers next year to organize it, we might be doing it for a loooong time. We are just taking one year at a time though :) I am excited because our plan is to recreate the reunions we had when we were little. Those are some of our best memories. We want our little cousins to have the same opportunity to have those memories. It should be fun. My aunts, mom, and grandma have been really supportive and helpful...in the six hours since we decided to do it :)

Of course, now I have to post a cute story...Nelita, one of my second or third cousins (it confuses me) is six and says such cute things...Crystin, Heather, and I were sitting at a picnic table, talking, and she was just listening. Crystin mentioned needing to go to Wal-Mart, and Nelita said, with her a solemn face, "Low prices, live better, when you shop at Wal-Mart." Her grandma, my great aunt said that she regurgitates commercials all the time. We were laughing, and I asked her, "What about McDonalds?" She replied that they did not "have a motto." I sang the little "I'm lovin' it" jingle. The whole time, she was staring at me, very solemn. She literally stared at me for a full minute, and I was not sure what she was thinking...finally she said, "At Home Depot, you can do it, but they can help." I started cracking up. She then went on to tell us how she goes once a month, even this month, to a kids workshop. It was so cute. Her voice was animated, but her face was still solemn.

I hope I am not in way over my head on this! I think that for Nelita, Tia, my other cousins, and my grandma, it is all worth it. (Pray for me though!)

Always,

Me

Delight...not Turkish :)

2008-06-18T22:44:00.000-05:00

I suppose I am to be considered a sporadic poster. I normally am too exhausted from work to do much on the internet. Sleep has become my best friend :)

Tonight, I had the sudden urge to post. I don't know if it is because I miss the feel of typing (and I mean real typing, not chatting typing) or if I just felt bad because I never keep up with my blogs. Either way, here I am, settling in to type an inspiring blog. Well, a blog anyways.

Lately, I have been really thinking about delight. I love that word. I love the way I feel when I think of that word. It is one of my favorite words. I love it even more when I add, "All my delight is in You, Lord." Those words bring such joy to my heart. I honestly can't help but smile a little and sigh when I say them, think them, type them.
What is so special about those seven words? For me, they hold such meaning and power. Obviously as the song, None But Jesus, says, "All my delight is in You, Lord. All of my hope. All of my strength." When I know that I am delighting in God, I have strength and I have hope. Those are two very important things to have while living in the world. I have to have hope and I have to be strong in the Lord. When I am delighting in Him, I have those two things. They are vital to my walk in Christ.
Those words have a depth to them, and it is easy to just breeze over them and not really understand how important it is to delight in the Lord. I have realized that I can say I am delighting in the Lord, and I might be, but I might also be delighting in something else. I am not delighting completely in God. It is easier then for me to get bogged down in life and feel a little hopeless and weak at times. When I am fully delighting in God though, and nothing else matters to me, I have such joy in life.
It's like in Psalm 37:4 when it says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I used to read that and think, If I delight in Him, God will give me what I want." However, I had to see that really, when I am truly delighting in Him, His desires become my own. I don't have to worry about Him not giving me what I want. I want what He wants. How refreshing is that? I don't have to worry about it. I just have to love Him and seek Him. I am nowhere near perfection, but I have decided to give it my all and delight in God, without holding anything back.

I guess I should leave a little story here...today at work, one of the kids was bored, so I was kind of playing a game with him. I would puff up my cheeks and act like I couldn't breathe. I took his hand and had him "pop" my cheek by pushing on it. I released the air and thanked him before taking another gulp of air and puffing up again. All of a sudden, as I was expecting his little hand to push out the air, I see his fist come at my cheek and make contact on the bone. It happened so quickly I did not know what to do. The air went out of my cheeks in a WHOOSH. It hurt so much! He just laughed. He is six, and has not mastered common sense yet :)

Always,

Me

I am right...right?

2008-05-03T20:54:00.001-05:00

So many times I have gone to post on here, but I just don't have the time or energy. Until now, that is. Well, I have a few minutes. My mom and I are going to see a movie, a rare treat these days!

This week I took Peter and Joel Liu to their childcare places while Kelly was in Connecticut. It was very interesting. Peter has always been somewhat intelligent, but lately he uses such grown-up sentences and words. I can't believe he is already 4. On Thursday, we were driving to his preschool, and he asked me if I knew Jon. He believes that I am a Shipman and constantly wants to go to "my" house. I told him I knew Jon, and that he was my friend.
He then asked, "What about your sisters?" I was confused at first, mistaking sisters for sister's, and thinking that he meant Katie's friends being my friends too. When I questioned him, he said, "Oh, I mean your brother....Zack? Oh, Zachary."
There was a pause and then from Peter, "Dude, did Zack get so tall because he kept eating a lot of food?"
"I think you probably right Peter."
"I am right." Such confidence from such a little boy!
"Peter, are you always right?"
"Yes."
"You're never ever wrong?"
"No. Are you ever ever wrong, Nikki?"
"Yes, Peter. I am wrong all the time. Jon is wrong sometimes, Matt is wrong sometimes, everyone is wrong sometimes."
"Oh. I'm not."

Thinking about this, I realize that SO many times, I have the same attitude. I am never wrong; it's everyone else. I put such confidence in myself that I even tell God that I am more right than He is. Okay, so I don't outright say, "God, You are so wrong!" I live that way though. I make decisions based on what I think it right instead of what really is right.

Thank goodness there are people out there who can bring light to my life...even if they are only four years old!

A Rambling, Anecdote, and Thought

2008-03-30T22:56:00.000-05:00

I should be doing homework right now, but I am here instead creating blog. That's okay though. I find that I work better under pressure, meaning the night before (or morning of). Not healthy but definitely habitual :)

Sitting here, listening to Kate laugh, I reminded of the simple things in life that make me happy. I love laughing, I love friends, and I love simplicity. Oh, and Kate. I do love Kate.

I suppose in my first blog I should add an anecdote from my life. I work at the YMCA in the after school program, and it while it is hard work, I really do like it. There is this one boy who constantly back talks and gives the staff the worst time. He is normally one of my least favorite of the kids (is it bad to think that?), mainly because of his attitude. On one of the hard days, I had just gotten onto him, and he argued (again). I just walked away from him even though he mumbled something under his breath.

As I was leaving the Y that day, he handed me a piece of paper. It read, "Dear Nicke, I am sorry that I called you a bad name. It will not happen again. D****** (his name)" I looked at my boss, and said, "I didn't hear him call me a name!" to which she replied, "But I did." Apparently, she was standing there when he mumbled something. I asked, with trepidation what he called me, and found out it was "stupid." Somehow I felt better after that :)

I thought he didn't like me after that, but I went to the business expo this weekend, and he was there. He saw me and gave me the biggest smile, even going so far as to hold a conversation with me. I then knew there was hope. He liked me and we would do fine at the Y.

It was an accomplishment, although a small one, because if I am friends with him, the others are (mostly) a piece of cake! It is a perfect example of the non-grudge holding young ones that are so ready to move on and forget old issues that really don't matter.

So here lies my first post. Of course it is long, and perhaps boring. But it is not the blog's fault. And beauty (or interest) lies in the eye of the beholder :)

Always,
Me